My Diet Died

Over 2 years ago I got on the scale and cried. I was huge! For the first time in my life my 5'3" frame had hit a whopping 179 lbs. I went into a depression. I could not believe I had gotten that big. I could not believe I let myself go.

After I pulled myself out of my depression funk I decided I needed to fix this. I told my husband about what was going on with me. He gave me the best encouragement. He told me he has known me a long time and he knew that whenever I decided to do something it happened. So I made a plan.

Now my plan was not a quick fix to a problem that took years to create. I knew that it took almost 10 years to gain this weight and it might take 2 to lose it. I had to change everything. They way I ate. The way I drank. And the way I exercised. So it was not a diet I was going to be on but a life style change.

The first thing I did was to keep a food journal. I wrote down everything. Anything that passed over my lips was written down. For the first two weeks I just wrote it down to get into the habit. The next two weeks I looked up the calories for everything written down and I added them up. I was shocked. Floored was more like it. I was consuming about 2000-2400 calories a day. Way more than my sedentary lifestyle could handle. No wonder I was growing wider and wider. Some one with my lack of movement, my height and my age should really only be consuming about 1600-1800 calories a day to maintain the current weight.

The first thing I did was cut out my empty calories in drinks. I had given up soda years ago. So cutting that out was not an option since it was already gone. But I did drink a ton of sweet ice tea. Anywhere from a half gallon to a gallon a day. That alone was between 550 - 1100 calories a day. Say I drank just a half gallon a day in 7 days was 3850 calories. Now cutting about 500 calories a day can help you lose 1 lb a week.

So I was hoping that would help me start my weight lose adventure. And it did. I lost about 10 lbs. but it did take me about 6 months to do that in. Then I plateaued.

I decided to cut calories. Easier said than done. Because there is an old saying..."When mama is on a diet, everyone is on a diet." And it is true. And I was fought at ever dinner at what I was making or not making. It is hard when your family is used to eating one way and you try to introduce lower calorie more nutritious meals. But I continued to find way to reduce my calorie intake. I started to drink Slim Fast shakes. Well, only for lunch. For breakfast I drank a Carnation Instant Breakfast mix plus a cup of milk. Then for dinner I did my best to do a good meal for everyone.

I added exercise to my routine. I walked about 30 minutes a day. In Texas in the summer heat that is a feat in its own right. And I started to go down again. Slowly but I was headed in the right direction. Summer went by and fall came and I continued my walking. And then the dreaded holidays came. And I stopped. I stopped trying to exercise. And I added a few pounds back on after they were over with. So I started again. And the weight I gained started to go down again.

But now that summer is here again and the heat is unbearable, I have not been doing my walks. But I have continued with watching my caloric intake. So I again have plateaued.

I am, as of today, at 147 lbs. Which is better than I was 2 years ago but still not to the 125-130 where I want or need to be.

I know that not exercising because of the heat is an excuse. And is a poor one. But today I am getting back on track. I started my food diary again. I will weigh myself daily and record it in my journal. And I will find something to do for exercises indoors. At least until the heat subsides and I can go back outdoors where I am happier.

So here is to trying a little harder. Losing more. And being happier with myself.

Birds and Bees

It is that time of year again. Flowers are in bloom, bees are a buzzing and everyone and their brother seem to get married or graduate.

I love Spring time. But here in Texas it only last about a month and then summer comes. It does not matter if summer officially started or not. In Texas it has it's own timetable. This spring/summer has been extremely hot and dry. We are in a drought and under a burn ban. Only real good thing about this is not to many bugs.

Shawn and I celebrated out 11th anniversary on the 28th of March. We had a lovely weekend. We went to Natchitoches, La. Lovely little town on the Cane river with very old houses and plantations nearby.

Next week we are off to Chicago to see Amy get married to Tony. Amy is Shawn's step daughter from his first marriage. I have had fun buying things for the kids (Amy's and Casandra's), gifts from Ya Ya and Pa Pa.

Then we are having a staycation in July. Just going to do things around here. And then also in July back to Chicago for work.

One thing we definetly need to do is stay cool. :)

My Love Affair

My love affair started I believe in my mid twenties. It started off innocent but has grown into a mad wonderful relationship.

During my marriage to my wasband I was berated about everything. He once told me that I was a lousy cook, horrible housekeeper and terrible in bed. My self-esteem was in the toilet. I was never good enough for him.

After my failed marriage and many failed relationships I decided I needed to get my life back. I started seeing a therapist. And during this time I came to a realization. I love food. Not just food but cooking it. This is when my love affair with food started.

As my self-esteem and confidence started to come back I started to try new things. And food was on the top of the list. French, Chinese, Italian, Mexican…the list goes on and on I loved them all. I wanted to try them all. And I was doing a pretty good job of doing just that. I loved everything about food. The flavors, varieties, and presentation…I fell for it all. But as time went on I realized that I could do this too. I could make these dishes. So I purchased a cookbook (another love affair of mine) and I decided to experiment. After several months I learned that I was pretty good at this cooking thing. Others in my life also said I was a very good cook. This helped my self-esteem immensely. I cooked more and more for family and friends.

Now I am not saying I have not had a few setbacks. Trying to impress a man I was dating I made a gourmet meal. I spent 3 hours in the kitchen slicing, dicing, sautéing and so on. I was so proud of the meal I crated. We sat down for dinner and he proceeded to scrape everything off the chicken I prepared and refused to eat any other dish I prepared. I was in shock. I could not believe that he did that without even trying it. His excuse? I only eat meat and potatoes. He thought it was that simple but he had no idea how badly this hurt. Or maybe he did. It was our last date.

However, for the most part, my love affair with food has become a wonderful adventure. Today I still love to cook. I love to experiment. My husband, son, other family and friends are my guinea pigs. And they love it. Someday I would love to go to a culinary school. Not so I can cook for others but so I can fall more in love with the joy of cooking.

Spring has Sprung

This is a vistor to my office on Monday. She is very cute!

Spring time in Texas is my favorite time of year. Spring here starts much earlier than it does up in Chicago. In Chicago right now I would be still sitting in the cold and more than likely snow. But here in East Texas it has been in the 70's, sunny and a light breeze.

I love being able to leave the door wide open in my office while I work. I hear the birds, feel the breeze, get the fresh air. It is a wonderful feeling. But i know it will not last because soon the bugs will come.

When "They" come my perfume for the rest of Spring, Summer and most of Fall will be Off. That part I do not like. I always have bug bites all over my body every year. Winter is the only time that I do not have them. However Winter stinks. to cold, to grey, to blah. So I have another week or two before "they" come. I will enjoy the rest of my spring. I will love every minute of it. And I will patiently await it arrival next year about the same time.